Welcome to another week, except this is more like two weeks.
I completely forgot it was Easter last weekend! So I decided to take a break from my computer.
This week I am looking at holidays because it was Easter and going home, which I did last Saturday. These can be somewhat stressful situations, perhaps for surprisingly similar reasons.
Home
My actual home town is Sheffield, but my parents live in Chesterfield, so these days when I talk about going home, it’s to the latter. Trips home can be challenging experiences, but perhaps not for the reason you may think.
My dad is not well currently, so since Christmas 2019, I’ve seen my parents just twice. These days, going home is about working out when Dad feels OK and testing for Covid.
The visits are also very short, whereas it used to be an overnight stay, it’s now just a couple of hours. And whilst Chesterfield is only about 90 minutes away in the car, it can be a long day. If you’ve ever driven over the tops, you’ll understand why! It’s a gorgeous route, but you have to be alert.
These days the trips are not as relaxing as they used to be. The testing, the anxiety about timings, how everyone will feel, and this strange feeling of just not being able to get settled all seem to take their toll on all of us.
But then spending two hours with them and seeing my dad looking healthy is worth all the stress.
Holidays
So these are stressful; I want to get that out there! I work three days a week, so I am down to two if a Bank Holiday falls on a Monday. It all sounds great until you remember that I am already trying to make five days fit into three!
Then there is this whole thing about not knowing what day it is. Does anyone else feel so stressed on Tuesday because they think it’s Monday?
As a family, we didn’t have a lot of holidays. If you were lucky, it was one a year, and they were all in the UK. So, in general, I am not a holiday person.
There, I said it! But where does this all come from?
It’s probably rooted in the same feelings that make me feel anxious about going home.
Holidays as children always felt like they were stressful. Getting things packed, not forgetting something, plus the long car journeys always felt hard. I am that person who needs to be at the airport two hours early, who has tick lists for packing and isn’t happy unless the suitcase has been packed and re-packed six times.
But the narratives I hold in my head are not mine. They have been put there by others.
So my tip? If you feel stressed about visiting home, or perhaps a trip away. Try and journal about why you think that way. Then, it’s back to asking yourself why until you can ask no more.
I am pretty sure you’ll find that there is an experience rooted in your past, where the memory is perhaps now not quite as sharp as it should be!
So what can you do to re-write that script?
Now I am off to pack for a weekend away with some amazing women, where I am a guest speaker! More on that next week.
As ever, be excellent to each other.